Hymn to the Deadliest Weapon on Earth


Humor is the weapon of mass reduction,
It reduces bigot to nit-wit, snob to bore
The trendy cynic to last year’s unfriendly pessimist.
It’ll take the nay out of naysayer
Cure the terminal doubter and saw down denial like dead wood.

It refuses to go away

Cannot be destroyed by fire or flood
Stands up to tyrants, lets a dictator know who’s boss.
Humor fills the halls of the censor with snickers
Has clown makeup for bullies
Mocks the madness of a warmonger with one finger.

Humor puts your mother-in-law where she belongs… in a taxi.

The man who loses his sense of humor is in danger of losing his mind.
It is the in of insight
The light of delight, the tip of a glass
A whistle in the dark and a wink at the past.
It cracks lightning jokes at sullen cops
Defends against the IRS
Brightens NBC images and uncovers the lies of a government.
It brings light to darkness, lights up a eulogy
Draws the recluse into the light of day,
It can tickle a smile out of a grouch

Manage a chuckle out of a manager, soften the heart of the toughest CEO.

It puts the teach in teacher, the preach in preacher
The shoes and cans on the back of the newly wed’s car, yes
Where love goes humor follows like an old mate
The sly grin, sideway glance, the nod, the hint, elbow in the rib
The spiked punch and marijuana brownie
Love in the kitchen the truck the car
The tent boat plane alley elevator train and mini van
Top of the counter, back of the movie, deep in the wood
Woodshop workshop pet shop flower shop parking lot
Front yard backyard
Shipyard wrecking yard bowling alley
The dilly-dally-nightcap-champagne, bingo, let’s go

Would you like to see my video?

Humor is a joyful chance to see one’s self and laugh
A pun, tongue twister, quip and one liners
The glass lifted to life, to love, to loss and gain
The winner, quitter, the job well done
Oscar, hit song toast of the town, like air earth fire water
Essential to life
A breath-takin’ side-splitin’ rip snortin’ Soul Protector
It can open doors, topples walls and melt hearts
Halt a navy, turn an army, prevent a scrap and stop a war
It’s the weapon of mass creation by which disputes international and local

Ought to be settled!

Who can make ’em laugh louder and longer
Who can roll ’em in the aisle, kill ’em with fun, laugh ’em off the field
Who can bring the bloody house down?
No joke, I kid you not, it’d be a whole lot better than what we’ve got.

A nation that loses its sense of humor is in danger of losing its soul.



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